tonyfromstatefarm: When you accidentally bite your tongue while eating
iconise: ok so once in class i was blogging and there was a girl infront of me who was scrolling down her dash and i realised she followed me coz all of my posts were on her dash anyway i made a textpost that was like turn around if you are in room N301 and she turned around and i just looked at her and her expression was the funniest thing i have ever seen in my life
oshcoruful: thewindsatyourback: themotherfuckingmarchesa: overshareanonymous: charman-ders: 13 years of school and im still not sure if its “grey” or “gray” It’s grEy in England and grAy in America. ARE YOU KIDDING ME I’VE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH THIS SINCE I WAS FETUS AND IT’S LITERALLY THAT EASY????? WHAT ABOUT CANADA. grEHy
stinkyminaj: cute boys make me
reichenbowties: therangerofthenorth: supernalchiku: iwishiwasfictional: boondirk-saints: neptunes-salty-butthole: sinatrasorbet: andrewhussiesbosom: andrewhussiesbosom: IF YOU PUT “VIOLENTLY” IN FRONT OF ANYTHING TO DESCRIBE YOUR ACTION IT BECOMES 4000x FUNNIER VIOLENTLY FARTS VIOLENTLY ORGANIZES HER PORTFOLIO VIOLENTLY BABYSITS CHILDREN VIOLENTLY TWERKS ...
gay porn has some of the best titles
greyscaleminions: werewolf-bowtie: BUTTHOLE PIRATES 3
deodrant: effettetris: deodrant: dont trust people who dont dip their oreos in milk but I’m allergic don’t be a pussy
fruitpunchg: “ooooohhh” i say as i still dont understand
wakeuptothesound: if you were a vegetable you would be a cabBITCH
asukafag: japaneseanimes: the nintendo ambulance is being rushed to your house, wiiu wiiu wiiu
jesuschristvevo: do’nt trust any 45 year old pedophile on intrenet….may be teenage girl
rneerkat: snapfox: rneerkat: rneerkat: what happens to nitrogen when the sun rises it becomes daytrogen I’m going to bed. good nitrogen
godwoon: iguanamouth: iguanamouth: gtfoyourcomputer: iguanamouth: iguanamouth: about a week ago i found this in a goodwill, one of those “grow in water” toys but there’s no pictures of what might be inside besides the awful baby clipart, and i am insanely curious about whats actually in the egg 15 hour adventure starting now 9 hours in and there is a crack on the egg, i...
thepirateking: kaibas-pants: kordova: ...
lolzpicx: The temp controls in my fridge are the same as the ones in my heart
ianthe: headup-billybuddy: the-future-mrs-solo: whatheballs: shavingryansprivates: i hate the phrase “life is short” because life is literally the longest thing that any of us will ever experience unless you experience my penis I just choked on my food. that’s not the only thing you’ll choke on
nue: itunes has got it all wrong the hottest single of the year is me
thunderwear: levantamos: Hover over each for friendly reminders (◡‿◡✿) (◕‿◕✿) (✿◠‿◠) (╯︵╰,) (｡◕‿◕｡) (◑‿◐) (º_º) (╯_╰) (✿ ♥‿♥) (╯3╰) (⊙‿⊙✿)
hanakatsumi: foxnewsofficial: i hope they use comic sans on your gravestone
rnph: tumblr is pretty cool because no matter what you choose to blog about (whether it be jokes, a fandom, fashion, or something else) someone out there will always explicitly hate you for it with mad intensity
amexicanwithamustache: motherstrickle: partybarackisinthehousetonight: do catholics fail trigonometry because they’re afraid of sin do irish people fail trigonometry because they can’t tan does everyone else fail trigonometry just cos
me: *see's someone hot*
Me: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Me: ( ͡o ͜ʖ ͡o)
Me: ( ͡O ͜ʖ ͡O)
franceium: david: staff: barackobama: guys do you know how easy it is to manipulate a post for notes
onionchester: sometimes dad comes up and he like opens my door and stares at me forever and when i ask why he says “i’m just admiring my creation”
virginclub: virginclub: virginclub: THIS ONE TIME I PISSED MYSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GROCERY STORE AND STARTED CRYING THAT HAPPENED TO ME TOO I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WAIT THIS WAS MY POST
doctorwhoopla: lokis-army-at-221b: Today in spanish class, I heard one girl talking about tumblr. She must be a hipster blog because she said that tumblr is all about Starbucks, beautiful quotes, and pretty people and she said, and I quote “There is this whole other side of tumblr called fandoms but they scare me and they are really possesive over a blue box and some other stuff.” And...
handsome-squidward: gameandwatch: natsugay: For all of you that believe that vulgarity in music is only from contemporary times then just remember that mozart wrote a song called lick my ass Proof for those of us that are unaware I’m crying listen to it
of-mice-and-jalex: “ugh i hate my life” said the 15 year old girl as she tried on her size 0 skinny jeans and pulled her long blonde hair into a ponytail and then was driven home by her perfect boyfriend to her 4 story mansion with a pool and tennis court and walked into her gigantic room and laid on her king size bed with her fluffy puppy and picked up her iPhone to text her 6 best friends to...
heyitspj: In case the world is ending I want you to know your parents were right I’m actually a 50 year old online predator
fuck bitches get money smoke weed read books pet small animals donate to charity help the elderly